2012 Exponential Notes: Family, Marriage & MinistryPosted by Jonathan Williams
This post is the fourth in a series from my time at the Exponential Conference in Orlando, FL last month. I will post several others in this same category. I invite you to browse all of the notes that I took.
Exponential – Family, Marriage & Ministry
1. This is constantly a process.
- Be careful of weighting your whole life condition on just the past three days of family and ministry.
- Principle of 3s: Check the last 3 days, 3 weeks, and 3 months.
- If you’re not careful, the church will become a mountain in the middle of your house, and everything will revolve around it.
- Think of the ministry as a marathon, not a sprint.
2. Take care of yourself
- Most church planters gain 20-30lbs in the first year. The stress pushes them to over eating, lack of sleep, caffeine pills, etc.
- You must take a Sabbath (whatever is restful for you).
- You must stay healthy (work out and eat right).
- Don’t believe the lie that your stress level and busyness equals importance and significance in ministry.
- There is humility in understanding that you have limits, and you are living in tandem with God to work within these.
3. Take care of each other.
- Date Night: You must figure out how to continue dating each other. Doesn’t have to be dinner, late nights, or expensive. It can be a simple lunch.
- Weekly Meeting: Talk about family plans, matters, and schedules.
- Don’t treat each other like a problem to solve. Instead, treat each other like a mystery to discover.
1. Cast vision for your kids.
- Daddy and Mommy have a job, but it’s not that much different than God’s calling
- Don’t talk about church junk around your kids. Talk about the wins, but not the losses.
- When you blow it, apologize and repent to your kids about it. Always, explain to them upcoming scheduling items that impact them.
2. Value the uniqueness of your kids.
- Every child will have a different response to your role in ministry. Let them develop in that process.
- You don’t parent your children. You parent each child. Differently (Proverbe 22).
3. Set boundaries to protect your family.
- How many nights per week will you be out?
- Is your family the mission? Or, will you leave your family aside, for the mission? What’s the important mission?
- Your house: what are the boundaries for your home? You must be hospitable (1 Timothy 3). Find a way to make it work in a way that your family can accept.
Notes & Quotes
- Don’t make a false dichotomy between your church and your family. They are connected, but not insuperable. Your family is part of the church.
- To wives: Be your husbands biggest fan and his gentlest critic.
- People will feign allegiance to your mission, but what they really want is a personal counsellor and friend. But, you just can’t manage that many friends or needy people.
- If you do not have good boundaries, people will suck the life out of you.
- Introverts in the Church by Adam Mchugh. Quiet: the Power of Introverts… by Susan Cain
- Do the best you can to have friends outside of your church planting circle.