Orlando, FL

About Marriage

1. This is constantly a process.

• Be careful of weighting your whole life condition on just the past three days of family and ministry.
• Principle of 3s: Check the last 3 days, 3 weeks, and 3 months.
• If you’re not careful, the church will become a mountain in the middle of your house, and everything will revolve around it.
• Think of the ministry as a marathon, not a sprint.

2. Take care of yourself

• Most church planters gain 20-30lbs in the first year. The stress pushes them to over eating, lack of sleep, caffeine pills, etc.
• You must take a Sabbath (whatever is restful for you).
• You must stay healthy (work out and eat right).
• Don’t believe the lie that your stress level and busyness equals importance and significance in ministry.
• There is humility in understanding that you have limits, and you are living in tandem with God to work within these.

3. Take care of each other.

• Date Night: You must figure out how to continue dating each other. Doesn’t have to be dinner, late nights, or expensive. It can be a simple lunch.
• Weekly Meeting: Talk about family plans, matters, and schedules.
• Don’t treat each other like a problem to solve. Instead, treat each other like a mystery to discover.

About Family

• Daddy and Mommy have a job, but it’s not that much different than God’s calling
• Don’t talk about church junk around your kids. Talk about the wins, but not the losses.
• When you blow it, apologize and repent to your kids about it. Always, explain to them upcoming scheduling items that impact them.

2. Value the uniqueness of your kids.

• Every child will have a different response to your role in ministry. Let them develop in that process.
• You don’t parent your children. You parent each child. Differently (Proverbe 22).

3. Set boundaries to protect your family.

• How many nights per week will you be out?
• Is your family the mission? Or, will you leave your family aside, for the mission? What’s the important mission?
• Your house: what are the boundaries for your home? You must be hospitable (1 Timothy 3). Find a way to make it work in a way that your family can accept.

• Don’t make a false dichotomy between your church and your family. They are connected, but not insuperable. Your family is part of the church.
• To wives: Be your husbands biggest fan and his gentlest critic.
• People will feign allegiance to your mission, but what they really want is a personal counsellor and friend. But, you just can’t manage that many friends or needy people.
• If you do not have good boundaries, people will suck the life out of you.
• Introverts in the Church by Adam Mchugh. Quiet: the Power of Introverts… by Susan Cain
• Do the best you can to have friends outside of your church planting circle.